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Is It Difficult to Get Along With Your Children? 3 Keys Can Help You : 

From these words, we can find several feasible ways, which can bring us closer to our children:

First, we shouldn't think that since we are their parent, everything we do for them is right.
As God says: “As long as you admit that you do not possess the truth, that you are a corrupted human being, then you have errors and you can make mistakes.” From these words, we know we don’t possess the truth, so what we say is not absolutely right. To force children to obey us is a sign of irrationality. Moreover, children have grown up and they have their own thoughts, views, considerations and plans. We should respect their choices, because God gave us humans the right to choose freely when He created Adam and Eve. We shouldn't impose what we think good on them, nor force them to act according to our will. What we should do is to tell them our suggestions for their reference.

Second, we should treat children on an equal footing rather than always discipline them from the position of a parent.

In fact, they are not unwilling to speak to us; after all, we are dearest kin; they need our care, love and mutual communication, hoping to get our understanding and support. Yet, sometimes we, standing in our position as a parent, force them to obey us in a lecturing tone or regard them as an “infant” unable to take care of themselves, which causes them to be antagonistic and produces a generation gap between us. If we let go of our position of a parent, calmly communicate with them on an equal footing, and learn to speak the words in our heart with them, making them know our thoughts, then we can better understand each other, and our relationship will become more and more normal. God teaches us: “When you fellowship the truth and speak the words in your heart, and describe something clearly and understandably, so that it can edify and benefit others, make them understand God’s will, and help them escape misunderstandings and fallacies, is there any need to stand on high? Is there any need to use a lecturing tone? You don’t need to scold them, you don’t need to speak loudly, or shout at them, much less use words, or a tone, or an intonation that are blunt. You just need to learn to use a normal tone, commune from the position and status of an ordinary person, speak calmly, speak the words in your heart, endeavor to pour out what you understand, what other people need to understand, and speak clearly and understandably.” So, we should consider things more from their standpoint and figure out a way in which they can communicate with us with relief and freedom.

Third, we should learn to let go of the rein on our children.

We shouldn't always think that they are too young to do well in everything. While fulfilling our duty as a parent, we should trust them and respect them, allowing them to do some things independently. After leaving parents, many children are actually able to take good care of themselves and their capabilities in many aspects have been improved. God says: “Parents always feel their children are small and that they have to keep tabs on them. The children feel their parents are old and don’t understand anything, they feel that they know too little of the outside world, and that they have to keep tabs on them and watch over them. In fact, when all is said and done, neither have normal humanity. Neither treat each other rationally from the perspective of normal people; they see the other as stupid, naive, as needing a lot of care or nagging. But after leaving their parents and spending two or three years away from home, the children are actually better at looking after themselves and dealing with different things by themselves, far more so than their parents could imagine. Yet the parents can never trust them, right?”

Read More : Teaching Your Children How To Follow Christ 

Maybe many parents worry this: Nowadays, the society becomes more and more degenerate; it’s common and often seen that people fight, play games, do drugs and gamble. So, we can’t set our mind at rest if we don’t watch them. This is indeed a real problem, but another realistic problem is that though many parents take strict charge of their children, they still become degenerated. Actually, the best way to solve the problem is to bring them before God, hand them over to Him and guide them to learn to rely on Him. Because only God can help them live out normal humanity. With God’s words guiding them, they can naturally see through Satan’s schemes and then resist the erosion of evil trends. Many teenagers around me used to play about, for which there lied an unbridgeable chasm between their parents and them; neither their parents nor their teachers were capable of educating them well. Yet since they believed in God, they came to know their brashness and arrogance from God’s words and know the meaning of living out normal humanity, and then, they began to rely on God to change their corrupt disposition. Now, they get along well with their parents, which is exactly the result achieved by God’s words in them.

I know a sister who once always said to her daughter, “I’m your mom, so you must obey me.” Gradually she found her daughter was increasingly distant toward her and didn't speak to her from the heart. The sister felt depressed but didn't know where the problem lied. Through reading God’s words, she reflected upon herself and knew that she was too arrogant to stand on an equal footing when getting along with her daughter. Then, she learned to open her heart to her daughter. When she let go of the airs of a parent and had a heart-to-heart talk with her daughter, her daughter also spoke to her from the heart and pointed out her shortcomings, and the sister accepted readily. Thereafter, her daughter often speaks heart-to-heart with her. Now the relationship between them is harmonious and worthy of envy.

We should learn from those who successfully handled the relationship with children by relying on God. We believe if you let go of the position of a parent, regard your daughter as a friend and a sister and communicate with her with an open heart in accordance with God’s will and demands, your relationship will be improved soon. May God bless you. All the glory be to God! Amen!

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